I liked it! I don’t now any one who wouldn’t…well, mabye Rachel…Rachel Morsin…o well…I really liked it!! I didn’t stop reading…exept once…anyway, I liked it!! Can’t wait for another!!
Woohoo! Don’t look so glum Edam, at least you get a free drink! (which makes the other guys look like they were ready to kill for a beer! hehe) Nice work Rachael! Can’t wait to see your next project!
You draw wonderfully, although you need more practice at horses (why WHY does it seem every comic artist CAN’T DRAW HORSES? I feel like giving out free lessons or something!).
But I was completely underwhelmed by this. Actually I don’t think I would have minded the plot … I mean, if someone told me the plot verbally I would have laughed and loved it. It’s a great idea. I think what ruined it for me was the way you told it. It was like a bad play where everyone is moving around half-heartedly and reading the lines off a piece of paper. It didn’t come to life, it didn’t have any kind of excitement, it didn’t have any spark. It’s maybe a combination of slow pacing and unrealistic dialogue…
“Thanks for pointing that out Gouda. I no longer regret hiring you.” Oh come ON! Who’s going to talk like that? All formal and like they’re negotiating a contract instead of having just escaped a bunch of armed mercinaries? You have the characters doing EVERYTHING in a leasurely manner. If they don’t believe that they’re in danger, why should I? If they don’t think anything interesting is going on, why should I? If the characters are drifting, I’m not going to be gripped. And it’s not just toward the end …
I think the way you draw the panels has a siginificant part in it too, just the way you place the characters, though I’m finding it hard to articulate exactly what it is about it. There’s just a lot of space in your comic. Argh, it’s so hard to describe. Your characters seem to float. They seem to be still a lot, even when they’re meant to be moving they’re often really frozen in the frame.
And why the hell was the unicorn hunter hanging around and posing on the ladder when the mercinaries were after them? Come ON. And now I come to mention it, the scene where they escaped from the mercinaries was completely unbelievable. These guys were efficient enough to track and capture Our Heroes, but they stand around going “ooh, what happened?” like statues of ninnies after one of their guys gets hit, and let their victims run off? When you’ve shown they had crossbows, too – surely they didn’t just have one! Haha.
Also, shading? I think you should invest in it. I really think it would make the images ‘pop’, and stop things dissolving into a sameness of lines.
And practice the horses. Please. The horse sticks out like a sore thumb. USE PHOTO REFERENCE.
… well, this was cathartic for me at least, hehe. Hopefully all this will be helpful to you though, I was going to just say “laaame!” but I thought you deserved a bit better than that :)
It is a bit helpful actually, as it is incredibly hard to get real criticism on the internet (or anywhere, actually). In some ways, I was sort of going for a light hearted, farcical sort of ambiance, hence nothing was too serious or dangerous or effective. I tend to get bored by comics that take themselves too seriously so I went the opposite route. I did that on purpose – I thought it was humorous – you obviously didn’t. The fact that I can’t draw action or horses, that’s just laziness on my part.
I enjoyed reading this, and the end was amusing, but I agree with the more detailed criticisms on this page. Though amusing, the story lacked momentum in many places. I can’t really give good commentary on the mechanics of the art since I’m still a developing artist myself, but I think the look of your art is really good. I like how detailed the closeups are and how the negative space in the little details sometimes goes unfilled.
Also, the fact that one of the characters is named “Gouda” fills me with bliss. Gouda is my favorite type of cheese. XD
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I liked it! I don’t now any one who wouldn’t…well, mabye Rachel…Rachel Morsin…o well…I really liked it!! I didn’t stop reading…exept once…anyway, I liked it!! Can’t wait for another!!
Woohoo! Don’t look so glum Edam, at least you get a free drink! (which makes the other guys look like they were ready to kill for a beer! hehe) Nice work Rachael! Can’t wait to see your next project!
I just froumd this site on google when i typed in moi name scary huh i didnt know about me trying 2 save the unicorns!!! RANDO<
I was really hoping for more unicorn in this campaign. It was beautifully drawn, but I am sorry the ending was anticlimatic.
Please do more of this! It’s awesome! Totally loved it!
You draw wonderfully, although you need more practice at horses (why WHY does it seem every comic artist CAN’T DRAW HORSES? I feel like giving out free lessons or something!).
But I was completely underwhelmed by this. Actually I don’t think I would have minded the plot … I mean, if someone told me the plot verbally I would have laughed and loved it. It’s a great idea. I think what ruined it for me was the way you told it. It was like a bad play where everyone is moving around half-heartedly and reading the lines off a piece of paper. It didn’t come to life, it didn’t have any kind of excitement, it didn’t have any spark. It’s maybe a combination of slow pacing and unrealistic dialogue…
“Thanks for pointing that out Gouda. I no longer regret hiring you.” Oh come ON! Who’s going to talk like that? All formal and like they’re negotiating a contract instead of having just escaped a bunch of armed mercinaries? You have the characters doing EVERYTHING in a leasurely manner. If they don’t believe that they’re in danger, why should I? If they don’t think anything interesting is going on, why should I? If the characters are drifting, I’m not going to be gripped. And it’s not just toward the end …
I think the way you draw the panels has a siginificant part in it too, just the way you place the characters, though I’m finding it hard to articulate exactly what it is about it. There’s just a lot of space in your comic. Argh, it’s so hard to describe. Your characters seem to float. They seem to be still a lot, even when they’re meant to be moving they’re often really frozen in the frame.
And why the hell was the unicorn hunter hanging around and posing on the ladder when the mercinaries were after them? Come ON. And now I come to mention it, the scene where they escaped from the mercinaries was completely unbelievable. These guys were efficient enough to track and capture Our Heroes, but they stand around going “ooh, what happened?” like statues of ninnies after one of their guys gets hit, and let their victims run off? When you’ve shown they had crossbows, too – surely they didn’t just have one! Haha.
Also, shading? I think you should invest in it. I really think it would make the images ‘pop’, and stop things dissolving into a sameness of lines.
And practice the horses. Please. The horse sticks out like a sore thumb. USE PHOTO REFERENCE.
… well, this was cathartic for me at least, hehe. Hopefully all this will be helpful to you though, I was going to just say “laaame!” but I thought you deserved a bit better than that :)
All the best.
It is a bit helpful actually, as it is incredibly hard to get real criticism on the internet (or anywhere, actually). In some ways, I was sort of going for a light hearted, farcical sort of ambiance, hence nothing was too serious or dangerous or effective. I tend to get bored by comics that take themselves too seriously so I went the opposite route. I did that on purpose – I thought it was humorous – you obviously didn’t. The fact that I can’t draw action or horses, that’s just laziness on my part.
This was very cute!
Wow, that is a really cute story… So Girly…
I enjoyed reading this, and the end was amusing, but I agree with the more detailed criticisms on this page. Though amusing, the story lacked momentum in many places. I can’t really give good commentary on the mechanics of the art since I’m still a developing artist myself, but I think the look of your art is really good. I like how detailed the closeups are and how the negative space in the little details sometimes goes unfilled.
Also, the fact that one of the characters is named “Gouda” fills me with bliss. Gouda is my favorite type of cheese. XD